According to the calendar, summer officially starts on June 21. According to me, the summer officially starts the day after the last NHL playoff game is played and the Cup is hoisted. Therefore, I hereby declare that summer has officially begun!
With summer comes some much needed downtime from hockey for some hockey moms. It is important, however, that during this downtime hockey moms keep up their hockey mom strength. You do not want those hockey mom muscles to waste away. Here’s some off-season training I recommend for all hockey moms:
Set your alarm for 5:00AM every single day. You’re a hockey mom and sleep is for sissies. Face it: you’re never going to sleep again. At least not until your child is finished minor hockey.
Make sure you go through one drive-through every day, for coffee, a donut, or just to say hi. If the drive-through is closed, go through anyway and pretend order your coffee and breakfast sandwich to go. Pulling up as close to the take out window as possible without scraping your side-view mirror is a special skill that requires continual refining.
Yell at your kids to get in the car NOW, even if you’re not going anywhere. You do not want them to forget that voiceand that tone.
Try and order pizza at least once a week. Nine out of ten pizza company delivery drivers will forget who you are in the off-season unless you remain a loyal patron.
Chill your weekend beer or wine in a plastic shopping bag filled with ice. Not only will it remind you of that fun tournament weekend in Oshawa, you’ll be proud of yourself for your imaginary ‘camping’ skills.
At least once a month during the summer, plan to stop on the shoulder of a busy highway with transport trucks whizzing by to pour windshield washer fluid into your car. It’s not the same as doing so in a snowstorm or during freezing rain but every little bit of practice helps keep you in shape. Maybe do it on a rainy day just to keep it real. Keep a towel in your car at all times to wipe the truck spray off your face.
On an as-needed basis
Take a deep sniff of your husband’s golf shoes after he’s played eighteen holes every Sunday. Mmmm that smell – you know you miss it.
Tape a rake handle or two just to hone those butt end taping skills. Your kid hates the way you do it anyway so own up to some practice.
And at least once during the summer months make sure you rip a nail off tying shoe laces.
If you stick to a little hockey mom routine over the summer months, getting back in hockey mom shape in the fall will not be as painful. Whatever you do, make sure that hockey tape stays in your purse. I guarantee you’ll use it at some point in the off-season. That stuff is pure hockey mom gold!
Three cheers for summer – and your summertime hockey mom training program!
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